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"After
you find out all the things that can go wrong, your life becomes less
about living and more about waiting."
When there are things in the past that you don't want to happen again. It's either because of your fault or maybe not but it did not go well. There is a big tendency for you to became skeptic. You'll just wait and wait and wait and wait because you're afraid to happen it to you again, and of course you don't want to enter again in that situation. Ever! May be you'll just build a very big walls (perhaps 3big walls) in your life so that no one can enter and be part of your life. no one.. You don't want to risk everything for uncertain things that will happen in the future
But then, no matter how many locks you've put in that walls someone will just enter in your life easily. Maybe he came from above or under the soil and you just can't stop him anymore. You will just see yourself that your are on his own game and your losing already. Although, You are afraid that you let someone enter to your life again but the only thing you can do is to trust him. Trust him that he will not do the things that happened to the past. As if you have no choice at all! But we all have a choice isn't?
Hmmmm.
Maybe I'm just reasoning out and justifying why I love him so much
even though its so complicated and so hard. Maybe I'm just giving
excuses on how stupid I am to fall in love with my him. So there.
Here I am at same situation, risking everything for the sake of love
(maybe im an alipin ng pag-ibig) I just hope, wish and pray that this
time the risk I took are all worth it 'coz I cannot take another
failure anymore. I hope that he will not let me down. He will not
disappoint me. He will do the things he said and promise. Ha!
Faith.Hope.Love. 3 big words but that's the only thing I can do for
now. Don't get me wrong ha, I love him and I trust him wholeheartedly
but I don't trust the world. Hahahahahah! The “broken inside”
and “torn into pieces” feeling, I don't want to feel that again..
Hoooo. Such a nightmare. Again, all I can do is to wait for what's
best for everyone. And to trust God for all the plans and His will
for me. Yun lang naman ang pwede kong gawin eh. Dba?
Choices.
Decisions Result.
I
hope no one can read this post. Haha. If someone, who I know, read
it oh-ow IM DEAD.
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